Its venti or large, not benti
Listen, I understand English, I know what you mean when
you say large, but benti, come on now. Realistically, I know what you mean, but
you have been standing in line and probably heard people say venti or large and
or you probably day dream about Starbucks 24/7, so do your barista a favor and
say it right or go somewhere else.
Barista: “What can I get you today?” You: “uhhhh” “ummm”
“whats that thingie with the stuff”
Hi! Hello! We are not mind readers; I have no idea what
you want or what you’re talking about. Like 20 drinks have chocolate in it and
almost all have espresso. Chances are, just like your benti friend, you have
been waiting in line for 5 minutes to come up to the counter/drive through to say,
“ummmm”. Seriously, if you weren’t so concerned on your ex-boyfriends new
girlfriend’s statuses on Facebook, maybe you would look up for a second and
think about what you wanted!
Can you make something off the secret menu?
Sure let me that menu right out of my arse. No! I cannot
make you that. It’s not on the menu, obviously because it’s not that good. Your
“Twix Frappuccino”, not frappe, taste like diabetes and rotten teeth you twat. And,
we aren’t even supposed to have our phones on us, so how do you expect us to
know it, and don’t get all offended when we don’t, because clearly, again, it’s
not on the menu!
Excuse me, can I get a water?
I get it H2O is free, but get your booty back in line.
Don’t cut to the drink counter to think, hey maybe they can stop what they are
doing and cater to me because all I want is water. No no honey, that is not how
it works. Wait in line and then ask for water, or maybe pack a freaking
re-useable water bottle or something. If you are coming to Starbucks you are
probably a hipster and its pretty hipster to be eco -friendly, duh, didn’t you
get the memo.
A coffee house is not your own personal library
I know the free Wi-Fi thing can get confusing, but don’t
unpack your college dorm and or home office at your local coffee shop. Thank you
come again.
A tip jar is not give a penny, take a penny
Yes, this actually has happened to me on several
occasions. The tip jar is not a give a penny take a penny type deal. Those are
tips we work are butts off for, not for your cheapness to take. That’s like
stealing, would you like me to come to your house and steal, I bet not, so
don’t you dare do it here. Get your crusty fingers out of the tip jar or I’m
calling Chuck Norris.
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